Promises from far away

Missed call from selimatu

Mon, 17:11

missing you so much and wish i could have you here with me now .,xx

are you there with me now honey .?

selimatu • Mon, 17:14

I wish I could express my feelings to you in a Shakespearean sonnet or construct a love poem as beautiful and touching as Elizabeth Browning's 'How do I love thee?' but I'm just an ordinary girl writing to a boy with her heart on her sleeve, attempting to depict his worth. I've come to the conclusion that any words written will never quite be enough and there will still be so much left unsaid, for nothing but the sight of you, the feel of you and the presence of you can suffice to convey the depth of my love for you. Throughout this message to you, I'll attempt to assimilate my roller-coaster feelings with lexemes poured directly from my heart to you. You mean the world to me and there's no better way to say it than through ineradicable ink.First of all, I send my apologies to you in that the distance acts as a catalyst for my catharsis but it's just merely me missing you. This accumulation of emotions is obstructing my mind and I need you so much closer dear. I know I often exacerbate in this situation, but that's not to say you don't too. The distance is challenging, my love, but only suited to the courageous and you're one of the bravest I know. Distance takes two people willing to forfeit a lot of time apart for a little time together but if we both make the effort, know I won’t stop believing in all that we can be oneday soon..I've often found myself tracing the globe in the refuge of my room, imagining what it would be like if the centimetres between us didn't represent these miles in real life. If only endless train rides and coach journeys could be replaced with footsteps and strides, I know we'd never be apart. Missing you reaches its crescendo when I discover myself laying alone in the darkness; I feel for your body in the labyrinth of the night only to be left with the unbearable disappointment that you're not there with me. 

 I'm restless in my bed a lot of the time, holding my arms out to the empty space where you should be. I sleep so peacefully when you're by my side but lamentably we both know that cannot be. Sometimes when you fall asleep before me, I lay awake focusing on every part of your body in turn. The imperfections on your skin are so satisfying to read and only enhance my fascination with your entity. However, no amount of pillows laid out on the vacant bedding next to my body can alter the fact that you're so far away, and that idea is one I need to become accustomed to. The mattress feels so cold in your absence as if mourning for our disjunction itself, and so I lay in the silence most nights curled up in a pillow, squeezing it tight against my diminutive frame, conjuring up an image of you in my mind in an attempt to cast aside thoughts of our separation.You know, sometimes I think we were bound together to juxtapose each another's attributes; me with my overly complex way with words and you communicating with your body rather than your words... We complement each other's personalities, there's no doubt about that. Perhaps that's why I miss you so much - that everything I'm lacking, I can find in you. I've never told you this but sometimes I close my eyes so I can concentrate my senses on your warm breath on my skin, your fingers delicately tracing my spine and the outline of your lips gently pressed against mine.

 I have a thirst for more, yet consistently force myself to deal with the reality of being alone for the time being..The constant longing to be near you never ceases even when your presence starts to fade as days pass by. You're not here and so I find myself in constant search of the soft blue that matches your eyes. I have no luck, yet I still keep searching inquisitively, hoping for discovery. No-one intrigues me like you do, simply by looking at me through your galactic eyes. They are the light to my darkness and the safe-house through my moments of despair. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder which I unquestionably believe to be true, for right now I love you more than ever. What they fail to mention in this term however, is the pain and sorrow the distance also brings its victims, creating a dark internal struggle within the sufferer.Between you and me, I long to sense the pheromones that emanate from your body and the aphrodisiacal effect they have over me. Similarly, I crave your aroma, flowing around your being like a field of magnetism, drawing me in closer to your secure grip. My heart desires a taste of perfection; for my head to lay itself calmly on your chest, so it can coordinate and entwine its heartbeat with your own. 

 The rhythmic palpitations calm me as your chest rises and falls with each breath. I cannot help but love you for you are one to be adored my love.Without de-escalating our love, it seems so anti-climatic that I wait around for hours each day just to see your face pixelated on a computer screen and to hear your voice muffled behind layers of white noise through a microphone. Communicating through modern technology has become our routine, and we find ourselves dependent on this method of coping with the space between us. Darling, I am so grateful for it.The transient moments we spend united are the pinnacle of perfection in my eyes and nothing else comes close to the momentary bliss of spending my time with you. Having your ethereal visage near to me means so much to my bedraggled soul; it keeps me alive with hope that the world can be an idyllic place.My love, I want you to know that even if we don't make it to the other side, you've made an indelible impression on my life and have moulded me into the strong individual I am today. I will never underestimate the impact you have had on my confidence and the exquisite feeling you give me when your lips touch mine. Even if we separate for many years, I will still be able to find you inhabiting the dustiest corners and crevices of my soul. If the time ever comes when you are no longer by my side, I will always have room in my heart for you and that is a promise, my love, but for now, my passion for you is still the focus of every day of my life; you are the first thing I think of when I wake from my slumber and the last thing at night before I fall into my lonely dreams.I miss your spontaneity my darling and the way you always go out of your way to make me smile. 

From presenting me with sweet messages when I least expect them to grabbing my waist from behind when I try to walk away, the little things you do really mean a lot. You could be the poorest man on earth but I know you'd still try to spend your last penny on making me happy. You always try to please others before pleasing yourself, which is why I'm so devoted to your happiness myself; you deserve the world my angel, you really do.Not since the day I was did last had some romantic moment with you, have I sensed such sweet delight but this bliss was short-lived when I felt my smile disintegrate on the platform as your train pulled away. My entirety is filled with poignancy and sorrow every time our hearts diverge from one another and this is something I am forced to deal with as I reluctantly have to let you go time and time again. Our smiles fade whenever we go our separate ways but my love forever remains. I am still holding on to you tightly in my mind in the hope that all this pain will be worth it in the end. As Mother Teresa once said 'I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, then there can be no more hurt, only more love' and I believe this is true in the distance. Sometimes it hurts so badly that I find myself close to giving up, but I know that if we're meant to be, our commitment will override all suffering and we will find our way back to each other for good.I wish I could capture your essence in a jar and carry it with me wherever I go. I'd pour a little into my coffee cup on those cold days when I need consolation or relief from your absent soul, taking care to save some for the insomniatic nights when I'm lying alone

Finally, I want to say that I miss you dear; I miss you so much. I yearn for the sanctuary of comfort which the blanket no longer provides. It doesn't touch me like you do, soft and sincere yet still managing to transmit pulses of electricity through my veins. It doesn't hold me the way you  hold me, passionately and firm; with the promise you won't let go. Its depths don't protect me so convincingly as if there's nowhere else you'd rather be. The blanket has become my comfort but I know soon it will be you ..Sometimes I feel vulnerable without you but then I realise the notion is quite the opposite; you keep me safe in the hurricane and it is you who guards me from the storm. Thank you my dear, for being the catalyst of my serenity in this life.I seal my message with a kiss to help you be more stronger and also to endure on your own and i do hope that you can think of me by closing your eyes and imagine I am there with you. For the time-being, embrace this small portion of my sincerity and i will do the same here for it is all we can do in this struggle and that hope soon this distance will disappear. I love you with every inch of my being sweetheart; you never leave my mind. I hope you know that my life is infinitely better with you in it and always will be.i know we will be together soon and that we can walk hand in hand and have the best of moments together as true lovers always do ...i love you so much and cant wait to hear from you soon .xx

have to go get some rest now and cant wait to hear from you soon my darling husband and hope you will prove your trustworthiness by getting me the correct doe so i will know you just did not do that intentionally ...i love you so much and hope you have the best of evening there always with heart crossed and legs tight for me till then xx

selimatu • Mon, 17:40\

I would never do that on purpose suspicion is entering both Our hearts.

Mon, 18:22